Day 29

It's has been a long day. Worrying trying to find a job in Texas while living here. Countless sleepless nights and praying hard. Waiting for the change I know I need.  Doing this by myself is stressful. My journey is just starting even if it is @ this stage in my life. Giving it to God, so I can have a peace of mind.

Leap of happiness

I have always been fearful of taking a chance  the because of the fear of the unknown.  I took control. I put in a notice at my job. My happiness needs to be first. God gave me a date I went with it. I am scare but optimistic. I felt a release and feel excited.

Family matters ......when they know their place!

I live in small town where everyone knows everyone. I am realted to almost everyone here. With that being said, my family has always had something to say regaurding anyones life where its their business or not. Its alway who, what, where, when and why. I can't stand it. It's always about someone that donesn't concern them . Who is with such and such, What they look like, Why are they like that, when did.. blah blah blah. Im like go get your life. When it comes to me, its always negative. I was called a white nigga/er from my grandfather. Yes I am black, I speak "diffrent', I feel diffrent, Alone, and sometimes lost. But when he called me that. It really hurt me. My blackness isn't any diffrent then his. Just becuse I am this way doesn't make me less of a person. I told him that it hurt me, he told me he didn't care. At thisstage in my life I shouldn't have to question myself nor my core. I have a lot to give. I have never felt so hurt and so taken back it. Even grandchildern have a heart.