Interview Exchange Program

So it has been about 3 weeks since I've been laidoff. I have had few job interviews. One was for a MAT program -- MAT meaning medication assitance treatment program for recovery addicts. An old co-worker of mine works. It has been a year since I have worked in addictions. Been enjoying the break from it. I went to the interview -- it was an hour and change away from where I live. The drive was nice and very long and whiny. I pulled up to the builiding. It was in a skeckty area. The waiting room was old with date interior. 2 windows with staff. I had texted my friend that works there to let her that I have arrived. We saw each other and I was so happy to see her and was grateful for mention to interview. The person in charge was nice and welcome. The interview was basic, asking me questions like are you comfortable with a 50 person caseload, coming in at 5am to work and how far to you live from here. My axienty went into overload. While the job seemed good, I knew that the drive was not that great for me. The person offered to forward my resume to a closer location near my home. Two days I get a am email from another location asking to meet with me. I confirmed that that cretain location that was told that my resume was going to was fully staffed and that my resume was forwarded to anonther location and little bit farther but close. I went to the interview. First thing was filling out an application. I met briefly with that person in charge. This time the vibe felt off. Like why do you have 3 open spots. Once again the place was old and smelled of mildrew. After my interview with her, she sent me over to another person who was the clinical driector. Not before having me pee in a cup. In my mind Im like this is too fast and you havent even checked my refrences. I knew then, you just want a body here. It was empyty. The clinical director office smelled of bath and bodyworks porturri. My head was starting to hurt. She is asking me a buttload of questions and talking to me. My head was telling me that I need a job but heart was saying run for the hills. I was happy when it ended. The drive home was not too bad. When I got home something told to call another location that was 20 mins from. They admitted to me to that they were hiring. And the email my resume to them. Yes I know that said I didnt feel right about the job but at this point Im going off surivival mode. That is my comfort. Thinking of every horrible thing that can come to past. I arrived at the facility and it was all just like the other facilities were old and dated. Very small but large and very much slow. As I was filling out the application I was called into the clinical directors office. She was older woman with another person in the room. I go into her office and there was with this extra large mahogany wood brown table as she sitting behind it very much and I don't care mode. She ended up taking one glance at my résumé and asked how are you able to get your licensure in a short amount of time I explain to her that I have been working in addictions and social services for a while, and I was able to obtain the beginning of my licensure at an earlier time in 2017. She said well once again how are you able to do that? Do you even have a degree? And I said yeah it's on my résumé. I have a bachelors degree. I've been doing this for a long time, and then she said , how was the training for you? Did you have a CI? And I said yes, I had a CI and we had weekly meetings and I did groups in some case management and some individuals and sat in on lead therapist individual sessions and family sessions. I was able to conduct a few. And she said well, it seem like you didn't do enough to earn your hours and we have a 50 person caseload and we have Medicare and how would I know if you'll be able to even write documentation if you weren't taught those things. I let her know that I have I've been able to write documentations for a very long time, including assessments, and I've been doing intakes for a very long time and yes, I may need a refresher, but I should be able to do the job . She said well it seems like you didn't have enough training and that is something that we harp on here, we can get to training you but you have to start from scratch with you because we don't know your ability. Mind you I am sitting there feeling defeated at this moment because I felt like I shouldn't have to argue my ability and my skills and you're questioning me on everything. And so I told her that I have been unable to pass the test and she said oh well tell me what is an assessment, is tell me what a screening is, was so nervous I was giving her definitions that she said no that's wrong that's what this is or its meaning. She went on this say, How are you gonna be able to work here if you don't know the basic definition of those. She went her soapbox about having to retrain others that has come to her. I was so mortified and I was like am I reading too much into this. And I don't know what to do. I just was waiting for this to be over and so I can go home and cry. And I know my worth least I thought I did at that moment and it feel like I didn't but I just left a bad taste in my mouth. It was just like I've done all of this for nothing and the more,more I thought about it the more I was like I really don't wanna work in this industry anymore. I know how it makes me feel and I'm feeling that way right now. And the way she treated me in her office maybe it was constructive criticism but maybe I took it a different way but it just felt it just didn't feel right. So finally, the interview concluded I still have the application in my hand. She wanted me to show her proof that I had my certification intern status cause I still have Internet status because I haven't passed test. It was just like I've done all of this for nothing and the more more I thought about it the more I was like I really don't wanna work in this industry anymore. I know how it makes me feel and I'm feeling that way right now. And the way she treated me in her office maybe it was constructive criticism or maybe I took it in a different way but it just felt it just didn't feel right. So finally, the interview concluded I still have the application in my hand. She wanted me to show her proof that I had my certification intern status cause I still have Intern status because I haven't passed test. If you look at the state that I am at you will be able to see that by my name and my date of birth what my license your number is and when it expires. I told her that I would bring it back with my rest with my application. I let the front office staff know that I'll be back that Monday was a holiday. I went in my car and I ripped up my application and I just went home and just keep applying to more jobs and that is where we are now And it's it's a process as everything is in life but that right there I did not feel good about. Most people probably tell me to suck it up buttercup and just do what you Gotta do but I just didn't want that and she hasn't called so I figured she wasn't gonna call at all and I'm OK with that .