Progress

Today Im giving myself permission to not worry. To not get obsessed. To not get anxious. Today I'm struggling with it . I can't shake it. The feeling of plies of stuff on me is alot right now. Trying to sort through the emotions and scared to ask for help mainly because I don't know how. 

I've always been able to take care of myself physically and somewhat mentally. Took care of business etc. Today not so much. Looking at debt upon debt and then trying to budget and budget again. Only for something to come up.

Being attached to the problem is easy and yet crazy. Learning to change my behavior things. Realigning to the reasons of why I wanted to live on my own.

Its all in God's timing. Waiting patiently and wanting it now..Oh it doesn't happen that way. Trying to find my happy today all while trying to not to compete or compare with anyone but myself.

Life is teaching me this. Last night I had a vision of my now decreased Uncle. Missing him and his BFF. Thinking about the good times and tearing up.

Change

Change has always been hard for me. My negative attitude has had an impact on my life. Faith is big in my life. It had been in the background in the past. The feeling of being stuck. So today at my desk im filling my ears with sermons to calm my nerves. Needing to make decisions and my brain goes all over. Learning to relax and let go is a constant practice. Worrying over nothing is rapid.

I woke up this morning Happy. Now im content.