Panic at the police station.

Being that  I am responsible person, I went to go get the police report from last week that involved my car.  When I was getting closer to the destination , I stated to feel the nervousness come . I didn't understand why this happening. As I entered the police station, I started to have panic attack. I started shaking. I didn't want these people to look at me and put me in a psych ward or arrest me. I wanted to run away and hide. 

My emotions got the best of me. I was angry for getting to this point. I thought I had gotten past all of this. Why now in this moment.  I was calming myself down with Starbucks. Which may not have been wise. The more I stayed there the more nervous I got. I  keep remembering why I am mad.  I feel like am about to break the tipping point is coming soon. No one knows. The isolation and the negative thoughts I feel daily especially when I am at work. Me, trying to accept myself for who and what I am. Sometime which I will never know. Finding positive in something that is life and telling myself that things like this happen and that I am not special. No one owes me a red carpet treatment, with accolades and diamond tiaras while giving the Miss America wave. 

Back at the police station, I wanted to cry. I just didn't understand why. Who does this, why does it matter? At what cost does it take to breathe and let go. I paid for my 5 dollar two sheets of paper and left. Upset that now I have to paid out of pocket for my car and no one is helping me and its not even my fault.