Whats Next

Often times, during those moments of despair we seek reassure from those letting us know that everything will work out.  When life turns you upside down. Reimagined images of the day I got let go was still plays in my head. Thinking could I have said something? Would I have made the situation better?, Was this for me? Am I this horrible person that I see and think of when I think of all this? This is the stage that I'm at today. The worry and the fear of everything have taken over. Being at home has my mind going all over the place. Thinking about all the goals that I had set for myself. Not even half of them I have achieved. Am I feeling disappointed? Yes. Can I control what happen? No. Can I learn to forgive? Trying to. Can I forget? I don't know yet.

So What is next? That  I don't know. Do I set new goals or do I continue with the ones that I have? So many questions that my mind feels like it will implore. I hate the fact that I feel this way.

Humm. Well in order for me to get this goal together, I need to let go and let GOD.
Merriam-Webster defines GOAL SETTING- Goals is the end towards which effort is directed--

What you say?
 Goals can be anything you or I want it to be. i.e. You to-do list- daily set up a time and place and what you want to achieve.

Lets simplified this:
SMART Goals
BE:
Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Relevant
Time-Bound

Long term and short term goals can be just as simple
Long term is 6 months to 1year
Short term is 1-6 months.

I believed that I make some short term goals this season. There are only 2 months in 2019.  I have to do something to manifest with what I need and want. The growth is necessary for change.



Wisdom= Be brave enough to be bad at something new.

Now that Im Fired...

One thing that I have noticed that is that since I've been fired (going on a month), my mental health has been going up and down. One moment I'm happy and content then the next I'm sad and feeling shame.

I know that from reading my last post, it would seem like a Godsent that things happen the way it did. But being in manic mode is where I'm at today. My generalized anxiety disorder is a full effect. My brain feels tight and I feel stupider than ever. Its like my thinking skills no longer exist anymore.  So to combat that I have been listening to sermons and relying on those to get me through.

The support I do have. Its always been hard for me to ask for help. Learning to change my mindset is one thing that is hard. This is a transition that is hard for me to grasp right. God allowed this all to happen to get me to learn something. Today I was having a recurring daydream of the day I was fired. I felt shame, the hurt, and humiliation. This I can't share with anyone cause it feels like I would want attention or venting too much. I don't understand why it's hard for me to move on from this. It like it never stops moving in my mind.

As of late, I have been not being able to sleep thinking about everything and the responsibility that I have as an adult. BILLS. - They don't pay themselves.

Learning to depend on faith and prayer is a struggle for me. How does one do that? I feel like there is a constant battle for it. Im like God, Im calling out to you.

The days of the previous life seemed distant. Is that normal?