One thing that I have noticed that is that since I've been fired (going on a month), my mental health has been going up and down. One moment I'm happy and content then the next I'm sad and feeling shame.
I know that from reading my last post, it would seem like a Godsent that things happen the way it did. But being in manic mode is where I'm at today. My generalized anxiety disorder is a full effect. My brain feels tight and I feel stupider than ever. Its like my thinking skills no longer exist anymore. So to combat that I have been listening to sermons and relying on those to get me through.
The support I do have. Its always been hard for me to ask for help. Learning to change my mindset is one thing that is hard. This is a transition that is hard for me to grasp right. God allowed this all to happen to get me to learn something. Today I was having a recurring daydream of the day I was fired. I felt shame, the hurt, and humiliation. This I can't share with anyone cause it feels like I would want attention or venting too much. I don't understand why it's hard for me to move on from this. It like it never stops moving in my mind.
As of late, I have been not being able to sleep thinking about everything and the responsibility that I have as an adult. BILLS. - They don't pay themselves.
Learning to depend on faith and prayer is a struggle for me. How does one do that? I feel like there is a constant battle for it. Im like God, Im calling out to you.
The days of the previous life seemed distant. Is that normal?
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