Fired!!!! From Teaching

On September 20 2019,
 I was fired from my teaching job. I was only 5 weeks in. My experience was nothing but horrible from day 1.  I never received training for the curriculum that I was supposed to teach nor was there a program for first-time teachers. I often felt alone and targeted from the get-go. I ask God to help me get through the situation because every day I went home mentally and emotionally drained. So drained that I lost about 10lbs and grew an ulcer.

The first day I  was given a student whose mother told us ( the other teacher and myself) that he was trouble. After giving a presentation on policy and management the student had his cell phone out. I took it and gave to the vice principal. Each with the student grows more and worse with the situation. The school kept giving him chance after chance. I believe he spent more time in in-school (ISS) suspension that in my class and the reasons that he got into ISS was not when he was in my class, it was in other class and presence. He often told other students not to listen to me cause he didn't like me. This was just the start.

Over the next few weeks, I would have the vice-principal, principal and the finally the instructional coach in and out of my classroom. I was immediately put on a growth plan. I had 3 tasks to complete they included observe 3 classrooms form classroom management, behaviors, and strategies as well as watch 2 YouTube video on both with a 1-page paper to go along with it. Before the firing, I was able to complete 2 YouTube v videos and 1 classroom observation. During the 2nd week- 3 weeks of school,  I finally met with the instructional coach to go over classroom management skills and policies/ rules. In that first meeting, she asked me to find my theme song. I did, corny as it sounds, I'm a huge Mariah Carey fan-- so the song I choose was " Make it Happen," She had me walk around her office pretending that I was teaching with the song in my head. Within the same week personnel from the district just comes in my classroom, the student was loud as always, trying to calm them was hard. She came in and just took over. She didn't introduce herself to me at all. I felt lower than before. Like I'm I suppose to do this? Sixth grade is a hard grade to teach. The shame that I felt that day was a feeling of defeat and despair. After she left my classroom, it was time for dismissal, I was told to come to see them. It was myself, the v.p. and the woman from the district. They told me I didn't own my classroom and that I needed to do so. Knowing myself, I am laid back and shy-- hell I'm introverted. I followed the plans that they gave me.

The following week went by, still, people in and out of my class from aides to principal again. The week started out rocky. There I was Monday, just finishing teaching social studies, two students were talking then out of nowhere the two students started fighting. Fist fighting. I was in total shock and embarrassed. In my mind, I already was saying I'm on thin ice here. Feeling alone and can't talk to anyone cause whatever I say would be used against me. I went home and cried and immediately started looking for another job.  The next day Tuesday I had my second meeting with the instructional coach, she said for me to write a reflection on the what happened. I didn't feel comfortable with that. Wednesday is the day they wrote me up for the fight saying that I was not paying attention because I was sitting at my desk and wasn't actively walking around. Mind you I had seen other teachers do that. I thought it was ok. I cried. I have never been written upon any job before. I'm always following the rules and doing the best that I can. At this point, I saw the writing on the wall, they were, in fact, trying to get rid of me. There was no one to turn to. The mentor that was assigned to me only had 2 years of teaching and really wasn't helpful. Also doing this week, there was finally a new teacher academy for all new teachers. So much for encouragement after the fact. I had a problem with a student and needed advice, I tracked down the principal in the hallway, she stated that her daughter was lost and to have the people in the new teacher meeting help me.

Last week, the little boy was still having problems all over the school. I was told to write up a statement about the interactions that I had with him. I met with the instructional coach for only 10 mins. But earlier in the day, she came around with another person. I suspected that she was my replacement. I felt it inside of me. Why I don't know. Sometimes I see and feel things before they happen. I wish it was later. Friday came. The morning was awesome. It was club day. Since we sixth grade and the behavior of some of the students were questionable, some of the other clubs wouldn't have us, so we did our thing as usual. The girls formed a dance club and boys placed football. It was great. After we were done with that, the principal came up with dogs -- I couldn't tell the students that they were stiffing for drugs. Afterward, the day went well. The little boy had done something in another class calling another student out of her name. That was the nail in the coffin for him. At this time, they had never included me on any meetings but 1 with this child and his mother. I had done my observation doing my planning period. It was a pleasant experience.

It was at 4pm. I had 1 student left. Once that student left, I was walking towards my classroom, the V.P. says have you seen the email that was sent to you, I said no. Can you come to meet with us?

I get in the office with the principal, the V.P., and instructional coach. The Principal started off saying we have had people in and out of your classroom. When I walked into your classroom there were backpacks on the floor. ( Mind you students at that time were still changing clothes and after repeating myself over and over again to put backpack up-- it fell on death ears)  What is the rule about backpacks? I said all backpacks on the hook. She said for the sake of our students we are letting you go. She asked me if I had anything to say. I said NO.

I walked out feeling defeated and felt like it was a no-win situation. I got in the elevator called my Mom. I didn't cry. I didn't want them to see me cry. As I gather up my things the VP is outside the classroom. I took what I could and wanted. Most of the stuff I left cause I knew I wasn't going to be in the classroom and it was no use for me. I gave them my lanyard, my keys and walked out with my target plastic bags and my Places You Will picture that I got from the garage of my apartment complex. I sat in my car and just realized that I have never been fired before. I have been laid off but never fired. The rejection and shame rose up inside of me.

I reached my home, I broke down. The stress from it all and now new stress of finding a new job. The feeling of being useless. I really wanted it to work out. I did. I grew it in a family of teachers in my life. Maybe this wasn't the right fit for me. This experience turns that sour for me.

Please keep me in prayer for the next chapter. I have no idea what I want to do. I thought that this is what I wanted to do.