Does Misery really love company?

For some resaon its been ruff lately. It feels like misery everyday. I can't help not being unhappy. When I fall asleep all I feel is grief and madness. What is up with that? When will it all end? When will peace come in and say ok you are well and then just like that Im well. I think that I having axienty over being fired last year and its arising now at my current job. I feel like its nothing that I can do hide that. It like Im alawys trying to guess what the next thing disappointment is going to be. Sad to think like that I know but at this moment that is how I am feeling. Thinking about the past year has been crazy. 2 hospital stays and more debt accumalating from that and feeling ignored. How you walked into a room in a room full oe people and you feel alone in the crowd? I do everyday. I work in a population where there are very vunlerable people and I feel that I am inadquated to do my job because I havent lived a life of many trials. Actually I feel like the Im the causlty of everyone story. Im a product of a teen pregancy. Had an absentee father, emotionally absent mother. All I know is that story.. How can I arise to a diffrent story? Today I am just expressing the major axienty that I have been having lately. Its too for me right now. There is no happiness to be happy about. My body feels it.