Family

For the past couple of days, I've been spending time in the Midwest. Since I've moved back to Texas, I have grown accustomed to everything fast pace and modern. My family is from a small town. There is no grocery stores. Barley Wi-fi. 1 car lot. 1 post office. 3 museums. 1 stoplight. No gas stations. 2 schools, 2 liquor stores. 2 local Resturants.  2 Dollar generals.  And a church on every corner.  Like any small town in the USA, everyone knows everyone's business and who died that day. The desperation for change is there but who is the one to step up the plate to create it.

We arrived on Thursday night. My grandparents are in their mid-seventies. Paw-  Paw what I call my grandfather is and has always been my BFF. Its because my father his son was only in and out of my life when it was ok for him. My grandfather has been consistence. My Grandmother, smart- quick wit, looks like half of the person that she was. Her mind used to be sharp and on point. Now she is forgetful, asking questions over and over again. It's like she is there but not. Dementia has slowly taken her. I'm not used to witnessing this. My grandmother was a town talker. She knew everything and everybody. My reality of her and my fantasy of her is contaminated. She moved slow and pacing around the house back and forth.

My heart is weak from the thought of her going through this. I  must say that she had 2 strokes within the past 2- 3 years plus she has lost relatives close to her.

On thoughts on moving back-- NO. It was good for what it was. No energy felt from me to home. I miss them but its nothing like being on my own.