Good day

it's been such a wonderful time right now in my life. Sake no it has not been the same. I've just been wanting to do something different so I have been meeting my best friend every Friday for the past couple weeks for breakfast. She has been late almost every time and I never say anything at all at all. So I don't like to upset anybody and I'm afraid that she would be my friend if I told her that she was late.Sometimes it feels like I thrive off disaster at all times and I really don't mean to come off like that. I'm really a good person and I just fucked up and all kinds of way shape or form I don't know how to just be a normal human being without having my introvert and what is my social axniety come in to play when I'm just trying to live my best mother effing life that I can possibly live. So it's just one of those things right now for me that I'm trying to take a step back and look deeper within myself to see what can I change. I'm in the second half my 30s I need to be more the aware. But society tells me that I need to be married at 18,000 kids with a career in $10,000 in my savings. I pay my bills I get some covert easy as that. But I'm learning to except things the way it is and I'm OK with that I'm OK with that and that's all that.