Yes I have one good week before my period
After that the fireworks in my head go off. I make stupid decisions and they come at a cost of self-sabotage and regret.
The lows keep coming and finding the shovel to dig out is out of sight. So I just deal. Pmdd has changed me and it's gotten intense or the past 6months.
I can hold a job but can't keep goals. I spend effortlessly with funds I don't have, then I end up with tags looking at me. For now I feel lost and out of space. Life passing me by. Looking at everyone has a plan and doing well and I just can't stick to a decision. Scared of making mistakes.
No one says it would be easy no. But I just want freedom in my mind to breathe. It feels cloudy and fermented with saddeness, fear, worry and complicated unknown situations that never have happened.
It tells me that I'll died alone without purpose and no one would love me.
Telling those thoughts to shut up is easier said then done. It keeps me up at night. Sleep at minimum.
I do have a therapist. I don't think or know how to explain how I feel about this.
I guess I'll keep working on myself while trying not to stuff.
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